equations and a holy number


In an attempt to not be dumb and lazy, I’ve been brushing up on equations.  I think it’s important that I can verify all my words with random numbers and letters.  Let’s explore some tricky sinful and illegal situations with serious logical thinking (and some equations where the correct answer is 10, a holy number).

Euthanasia (e)

This is clearly a sin (X).  Murder(m) is a sin.  Suicide(s) is a sin.  So, I think I’m correct in expressing that as: 2X = m + s.  It must be a double sin.

However, if I turn to some real life scenarios, I can deduce that keeping people alive with a mixture of drugs and machines against their will is ‘cruel’ (c).  I’m also given to understand that if there is no cure for something and someone is in terrible agony and going to die, allowing their pain to linger is c.  I think that c is an X actually.  So …

X = m+s / 2    X = c   therefore   c = m+s/2

Consensual sibling incest (i)

Yikes!  Apparently we’re evolutionarily predisposed to not be sexually interested in our siblings, as it’s not conducive to healthy breeding patterns, hence the general distaste for this subject.  However, on the rare occasion that siblings or half siblings separated in their youth are reunited and are unfortunate enough to have those ‘falling in love’ chemicals racing through their bodies, it’s still a sin (X).  i = X.  So, I guess that means that anyone with a highish chance of having a baby that’s not completely ‘normal’ is committing a sin if they give it a go.  Let’s think – women over the age of 35, people with a family history of genetic disorders, that sort of thing.  Ah, wait, I forgot.  When something is a ‘sin’ it doesn’t need a reason, and in fact only relates to the specifically targeted ‘sinners’.  So, the incestuous weirdos are still heading for hell, and everyone else can breed away to their heart’s content.

Equation update: i = c x (m+s/2)

Slavery (v)

Buying, selling and owning other people, forcing them to work against their will is completely immoral and outlawed in most societies.  It’s also a sin.  What?  Are you sure?  Apologies.  I’ve been reliably informed it’s not actually a sin and in fact there are some handy guidelines available in the Bible, for those who wish to go about it.  So, in relation to my clever pants equation, that would be expressed:

-v = (c x (m+s/2))/i


After due consideration of the words, numbers and representative letters, it seems clear that:

X = (c x (m+s/2))/i) + v

Obviously, in addition to this, our shared knowledge that the correct answer is 10 has serious consequences for our understanding of sin and the human race.  I’ll endeavour to keep you updated.