if there’s an afterlife
If it’s not lights out, and there is in fact a surprise afterlife, I have a few requests:
- I don’t want to be trapped with my family for eternity and forced to populate a new planet.
- I don’t want to sit on a fancy couch with pretty people serving me drinks, with my pick of virgins to deflower.
- I don’t want most of the people I’ve met to be suffering eternal anguish while I sit smugly on a cloud, sipping moon juice and smiling at Jesus.
- I want to know which conspiracy theories are true and who really runs the world.
- I want to say sorry to all the animals I ate in my youth.
- I want to be my own orchestra.
- I want to be a swallow.
- I want to play with tigers and lions.
- I want to have a ride on a dragon or Pegasus, or both.
- I want to experience what goes through an ant’s mind when it picks up a leaf 50 times its size and carries along a pavement in line, exchanging information with fellow ants passing by.
What about you?
6 & 8 please!
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Nothing to add??
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Only that all my animals are there, and i can talk to them. Wishful thinking, though
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Well, you may as well get your requests in while you have a chance.
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My animals have some explaining to do
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Dogs have to be invited, too.
š
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Oh come on! We know they’ll be running the show. Dogod Godog reveals her clever plan.
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why not #2? sounds awesome!
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Thank you! Thereby proving Islam was created by a stupid man. š
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yeh but can i get some experienced ladies there too to show the virgins how it’s done?
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Unfortunately this was something that crossed my mind. What’s all the fuss about having sex with someone who doesn’t have a clue what they’re doing?
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Um…… Yeah I’m not gonna answer that. For decency’s sake.
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I want to know why god was so bored as to create the universe, that is if we get to have a word with them.
and 10 would be interesting
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Number 11: Ask creator deities – why didn’t you just invent Playstation and cable TV?
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And maybe get to ask why bother with having people on earth if they are all going to heaven. Couldn’t they just have everyone in heaven singing hallelujah chorus from the beginning of time!
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That sounds like a lovely idea! Nothing like a good eternal worship scenario.
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If possible, I’d like to experience the mind of every animal.
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Not just ants? I was thinking that if I hadn’t reach 10, I was going to request being a tree too. But I don’t want my list to get out of hand.
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Every living thing, actually. š
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I would want an explanation for platypuses (platypi?). I mean what the hell?
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There we go, John’s provided an explanation for those. So you take them off your request list. Maybe you could ask to be one?
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Bam, that’s it. I want to be a platypus then.
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As an Australian I can answer that question: They were put in creeks to balance out the menace posed by Drop Bears
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Drop Bear? *Googling*
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They only attack silly American tourists. If you’re sane and reasonable there’s nothing to worry about š
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I’ll just have to remember to bring my Xanax with me. And a case full of happy pills.
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š
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Well, I actually love my family, so not #1. I’d like to be able to time travel and see everything that’s ever been, including the Roman Empire, the dinosaurs, everything. I want to know exactly how everything happened.
Oh, and unlimited supply of pizza.
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That’s a good one! Spend the afterlife time travelling – so much to see …
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I would want to be either a whale or a dolphin and see what goes on in their heads.
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Definitely! What level of communication is going on there, and how much fun is it to frolic in the sea all day.
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