Romantic love is obviously something that takes up a lot of time in our lives. Whether we’re with someone or not with someone, it hovers around our heads and nether regions making lots of decisions that are usually at odds with strictly computer-based logic.
So what is love (the romantic variety) and where can we find it? I’m used to the fact that my head has to be in love, and if there’s not a suitable person to latch the love obsession onto, I’ll pick the next best thing. Interestingly enough, when a second-rate love obsession displays availability, I usually realise the extent of my actual disinterest and the button switches off. I try not to take romantic love very seriously – for me it’s just a surge of pleasant chemicals whirling through my body, dominating my thoughts with nonsense and trying to make me reproduce.
Doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? Well, it gets worse. I can’t be completely sure of this, but I think most of my chemical reaction for romantic love comes down to smell. My love chemicals can go loopy if someone is wearing a specific deodorant (the Lynx/Axe adverts uncharacteristically make me laugh – the truth in the image outweighs the objectification outrage), or if they are just reeking of the right brand of testosterone. This has happened with people I don’t like, or worse, people I’m completely disinterested in, which can be quite disorientating.
I’ve never made lists about life – things to achieve, people to marry, places to visit. Narrowing down what life could offer with my unimaginative and limited musings seems like a bad idea. So I’ve never written down or even considered the characteristics I would expect in my ideal partner. The only thing I know is that they have to smell right.
(I did a quick Google to check I’m not crazy, or half dog, and found this article.)