violet’s bible interpretations part 1


This is a new series designed to celebrate some of the words to be found in the religious book of Christianity followers. They believe their book, the Bible, has been inspired by an all-powerful and lovely deity, the god God. Therefore, it’s not unreasonable to have high expectations when it comes to timeless common sense, measureless wisdom and top-notch ideas.

Numbers 5, 11-31

This part of the Bible tells us how the god God helped men in the olden days (before private investigators and webcams) check up on their dirty, cheating wives.  If a married man had a fit of jealousy and suspected his wife had been cheating on him, the god God concocted a surefire way to check if the suspicions were justified. And here it is: a priest mixed some dirt from the floor with some magic water and made the woman drink it. The woman, by the way, was pregnant. If she had a miscarriage, it meant that she had cheated on her husband. If she didn’t, it meant that she had actually remained faithful and the husband was wrong.

And there we have it. More evidence to set apart Christianity from other silly, superstitious religions with fake, misogynistic gods and holy men performing magic tricks that everyone knows can’t be true. As I am not a Christian, I am open to receiving any additional information from religious folks who wish to explain to me why their logical and believable god set these rules and wanted them put in his eternal holy book.