inspirational religion
My best blogging buddy, Missy J Betts, regularly presents stunningly smart, impressively researched and hilariously witty posts. She also has finely tuned appreciation for great bee photos. Missy’s latest offering on Scientology (here) is the most interesting and informative summary I’ve read on this seriously silly, science fiction religion. I felt inspired. I felt inspired to start thrashing out some detail on my own science fiction religion. Here are some of my preliminary thoughts.
- The god called Deity, who is surprisingly mysteriously invisible and lives in a dimension outside of our own, randomly decided to create everything we see – in the blink of an eye, because she’s super powerful like that. The highlight of her creation is woman, the first one being Anna. Deity decided to give Anna a helper for the donkey work, so made a man (Steve) out of one of Anna’s toenails.
- Deity made Anna and Steve deeply flawed and liable to misbehave. She also got really furious with them and their descendants when they did so. On one occasion Deity got so incensed she cast down a meteorite from The Other Dimension and wiped out all the women and their men (and the poor dinosaurs), except for Norah and her family who built a big spaceship and came back to Earth when the mayhem was over. That’s why humans have five fingers instead of four on each hand, the required incestuous relationships had some side effects.
- Deity created everyone but, at this point in time, is only the god of the Scots. Once I get a few followers whipped up, we’ll announce we’re waiting for the Promised One, who will be the daughter of Deity on earth and will bring salvation from misbehaving to the whole world, which is likely to be measured via the purchase of a machine that can read how Good you are.
- Oh, almost forgot! Deity hates money and all material possessions, so she encourages her followers to give a reasonable 28.62% of their earnings to her Church, and purchase their own horrendously expensive supernatural Good Detector machine. I’ll redistribute the holy gold wisely. Promise!
I encourage all my readers to give some thought to how your science fiction religion might look!
You never cease to amuse and inspire. I will have to do quite some thinking here but am not sending money yet 🙂
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I’m hopeful, there’s a ‘yet’ in there! 🙂
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That maybe false hope my friend
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I am so honored to be upgraded to “best blogging buddy”! 🙂
I LOVE your version of science fiction religion, although I must admit, it does seem a little familiar. Maybe I dreamt about it once? Either way, you have inspired me to come up with my own science fiction religion. I don’t exactly know what it will be yet, I only know that I feel something brewing up inside of me, begging to be released unto the masses for saving and grace and love and all that. Once it’s complete, I figure all I will need to get it going is a publisher and a few celebrity endorsements! Perhaps it will involve fuzzy Edinburgh bees…
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I can’t wait! I’m quite sure you’ll come up with some seriously amazing ideas for a science fiction religion. I might even join if you get the right celebs on board!
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Can I be best blogging buddy next week?
My space religion begins with a letter composed of two bulleted point-form paperish sheets that when ran through the fingers feels like velvet, and if held to the nose smells like charcoaled Teak and chocolate. Written across the top in slightly raised carnival lettering is the title: “Hello, and Welcome to the Universe!” followed by an equally peppy sub-title, “Some useful things you might want to know.”
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Oooh, very nice! It sounds so good I’m wondering if it’s Monty Python or Douglas Adams or some such thing I should know about. How do you plan on making money from it? Because that’s the objective, clearly.
You can totally be my next best blogging buddy. You just need some sincere sounding and consistent photo praising. Ark’s heart was clearly no longer in it. Missy chivalrously stepped in but I doubt she can keep up the pace! 🙂
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The letter of introduction is free… the installments come with a paid subscription 🙂 That, or my deity is paid in music festivals.
Nice tree! How’s that?
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Sorry John, ‘nice’ doesn’t cut it. Back of the queue! 🙂
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Shit! OK, just you wait for the song and dance coming on the next one…
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That’s the spirit!
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