the changing landscape of relationships
Pushing people to test their culturally held beliefs against evidence is key to helping our species recover from millennia of superstitious notions that have climaxed in several religions holding sway over most of the world’s population. With the advent of oodles of information and clever people colliding, we are now on the road to a new age of human endeavour, untainted by belief in invisible deities wielding arbitrary rules and magic afterlives we have to earn by thinking correctly.
But religion itself isn’t the only part of our indoctrination we need to question. The remnant societal structures that have arisen from these long-held beliefs should clearly be re-evaluated in the light of the unbiased evidence we have available to us. One huge area that touches almost all our lives is our approach to romantic relationships, with or without the reproduction aspect.
Growing up in a world that signposts us to the cosy notion of one special person to share our whole adult life with, it’s not surprising that most of us assume this is the natural state for homo sapiens. In reality, with low numbers of virgin marriages, high numbers of extra-marital affairs and rising divorce rates ranging from 30% to 60% in the Christian influenced western world, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate what reasonable expectations are for romantic relationships.
Whether we take my best blogging buddy Frogstar’s polyamory route, follow the French model of openly having affairs we don’t discuss, or just enter the realm of the dating world with different expectations, I think I can safely say we’ve moved past the frankly bizarre phase of existence when people said things like this:
Well, I guess ‘moved past’ is a little premature, given that this quote is from a post I read today. So, as a sidenote to all my Christian readers, if you’re in a messed up relationship featuring violence and/or misery, you are still expected to mindlessly follow some words printed in a cobbled together book from another culture over 2000 years ago. Good luck!
I just posted this: Rape any hot virgin and get a wife! (Deuteronomy, 22: 28-29)
Do you think they’ll get mad?
LikeLike
You forgot to add she can’t be betrothed! They might be angry that you forgot that, or that you don’t use the KJV for more accurate divinely inspired interpretation of aggressive sexual scenarios. Apart from that, I’m sure they’ll agree. 🙂
LikeLike
Great! I’ll await their joyous welcoming of me into their little bible group 🙂
LikeLike
Do you think there could be any advantage in this til death us do part idea?
LikeLike
Not if people take it as a solemn covenant with no exit. Do you?
LikeLike
Well, it’s a bit of a paradox, really. I want people to be able to end it, if it is really ended, and when people say of their own free will the magic words after the Magician says them- in strange costumes, before a wild party- I want them to believe Till Death. I want the possibility. Call me a shameless romantic.
LikeLike
I know what you mean. But it’s difficult to separate those feelings from the normal expectations of our society, and the message that’s bombarded at us through films, books etc. Maybe there’s nothing truly romantic about it at all. Death of a spouse based on fictitious ‘the one’ notions can leave people unreasonably devastated and unable to properly experience the rest of their own lives. People rarely drop dead at the same time.
LikeLike
Is that beautiful picture upside down or is it a reflection?
The thing about religious belief or rather belief in chimeras, is that after you have accepted the big lie, that there exists a god who loves you, accepting several other falsehoods become easy.
Because the question to ask the author of that comment is what role does god play in the marriage? Does he show when the wife is being beaten up to give the husband a piece of s/h/it’s mind or what? Two parties to a contract must have each duties and responsibilities, it would be nice to hear what part this god plays but before we grant them that much, what god and where is the evidence?
LikeLike
Thank you for noticing the picture, my best blogging buddy! It’s a reflection in a flooded playground. It does seem these people have a low opinion of the god God.
LikeLike
They always have a low opinion of their god. *blushing* got the badge, I should probably let John know 😛
LikeLike
Hear hear! I think you really hit the spot there makagutu. Could it be, that a Christian hubbie whitholds his anger and violence for his wife only because he fears for the eternal punishment afterwards, or is it more likely that a Christian hubbie thinks that the Bible gives him full license to beat up his property the wife, OR does the Christian hubbie who beats his wife think that the fact that the obvious un-interrest by his god proves that this god actually sanctions the violence? What about a Christian hubbie who beats up his wife, but rests assured he is forgiven by Jesus? Should we not live in a society where every adult understands, that violence – for example in a relationship – causes more harm than benefit and is really undesirable and unethical for that sole reason? Not because of some supernatural and non-understandable reasons based on an unverifiable authority. That is, regardless of wether one believes such an authority exists or not.
Is the concept of demand for lifelong commitment a cultural trait to benefit the children, or a divine mystery? I have several friends who were raised by single moms and I must say they turned out just as fine as any of us who have had two parents. One of the reasons is that me and my friends live in a society, that supports the single parent – as it should do. Even in archaic societies widowers have managed to raise their kids. Right? So, what is the magic for the eternal commitment?
And what about the widowers who re-married? What kind of neo-families do they form in the blissfull afterlife? Is there no jealosy in the heavens? The Bible sure speaks of a god having these emotional fits of jealosy, so…
LikeLike
Heaven is bliss, know jealousy and possible no thinking required or else you’d not have so many religious people wanting to go.
LikeLike
Wow. “Good blogging buddy.” I just printed that out and taped it to my wall. A little crooked, maybe, but I did my best. If I tell you that the picture on this post is outstanding, could I get upgraded to “best blogging buddy?” No? How about “very good blogging buddy?” 😉
LikeLike
Well, if you’d got the picture praise in earlier of course you’d be my ‘best’ blogging buddy … in fact, I think I’d better sort that right now!
LikeLike
One merely has to ask, “How did folk cope before the advent of Yahweh?”
I don’t think I could handle going through the whole…”Do you come here often?” crap again. Lol!
LikeLike
Oh yes, as far as I’m concerned that’s one of the best reasons for stayed together till death! The effort of finding someone I’m attracted to, who’s not an idiot, who’s attracted to me, who’s available … I’m such a romantic, my boyfriend’s a lucky guy! 🙂 (He’s actually my husband but we got married for ease of papers and I have issues with marriage/husband/wife labels that may well spring from religious revulsion)
LikeLike
See. As long as my socks are clean and she doesn’t hog the TV remote and there’s cold beer I am okay. The perfect partner.
LikeLike
By the way – you are a number 4!!! My goodness, do you not just see a description of yourself? (I hate it when people remove reply buttons on blogs so you can’t comment on other comments effectively!)
LikeLike
Sorry? what are you talking about? What is this Number 4?
LikeLike
You are atheist number 4 on Nate’s post. Old age, you forget what you read a couple of hours ago. 🙂
LikeLike
Ah, yes, after I asked I wondered if this might be it. So…lurking, eh? You naughty sinner. 😉
LikeLike