A return to the Politically-Correct Coffee Shop

Please help this poor person. He is a rich white man in the United States of America and suffers terrible discrimination. I mean, I can scarcely imagine how difficult life must be for someone like him.

A Heapin' Plate of Conservative Politics & Religion

By Tom Quiner

“Come on, Tom,  live dangerously. It won’t kill you to experience a little diversity.”

My liberal friend, Libby, had dragged me to the Politically-Correct Coffee Shop. She was insistent that I enter the “Liberals Only” door.

“But I’m not a liberal. And the service stinks on this side. And it’s expensive. And they discriminate on the basis of race.”

Libby wouldn’t take no for an answer and dragged me through a door I swore I’d never walk through. As my eyes grew accustomed to the light, I saw that the menu had changed, and had become, against all odds, even more offensive:

Caucasians: $3 per cup

Asian Americans: $3 per cup

Hispanic Americans: $2 per cup

LGBT:  $2 per cup

African Americans: $1 per cup

Native Americans:  25¢ per cup

Undocumented Americans: 25¢ per cup

“This is ridiculous,” I muttered, as I forked over $3.

“Excuse…

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