A return to the Politically-Correct Coffee Shop
Please help this poor person. He is a rich white man in the United States of America and suffers terrible discrimination. I mean, I can scarcely imagine how difficult life must be for someone like him.
By Tom Quiner
“Come on, Tom, live dangerously. It won’t kill you to experience a little diversity.”
“But I’m not a liberal. And the service stinks on this side. And it’s expensive. And they discriminate on the basis of race.”
Libby wouldn’t take no for an answer and dragged me through a door I swore I’d never walk through. As my eyes grew accustomed to the light, I saw that the menu had changed, and had become, against all odds, even more offensive:
Caucasians: $3 per cup
Asian Americans: $3 per cup
Hispanic Americans: $2 per cup
LGBT: $2 per cup
African Americans: $1 per cup
Native Americans: 25¢ per cup
Undocumented Americans: 25¢ per cup
“This is ridiculous,” I muttered, as I forked over $3.
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