emergency plan christianity


There are many environmental causes (besides indoctrination) that can mess with the head and make one think they have experienced god or demons.

Neuronotes has a fascinating blog about the brain. It makes me realise that however strongly-held my position is on atheism, I could yet have a knock to the head or other trauma that could skew my world view and leave me convinced that gods exist. As Christianity is the closest to hand religion in my culture, it’s likely that the Christian god God would be the deity of choice.

But how could I reconcile what I know about Christianity with any uncontrollable and irresistible ‘knowledge’ that the god God exists? Here is my guide to the least harmful version of Christianity I can think of, for anyone (including myself) who could one day finds themselves in this awkward position:

  • Having accepted that the gender-neutral god God exists because I can sense it, I would have to assume that the Bible is the result of the inevitable crossed wires that would occur when a super-being capable of creating our reality tries to communicate with humans. Therefore, cherry-picking would be encouraged. Being able to disregard any part of  the Bible I find morally offensive leaves Christianity much more open to being described as a benevolent god’s belief system.
  • One of the main confusions in Christianity is clearly that a super-being would want to be worshipped or would consider blood sacrifice gifts for bad behaviour to make sense (in any culture at any time). The god God I hope to never sense through accidental brain trauma, won’t want me or any other humans to sing bad songs or believe it ever wanted lambs murdered in acts of repentance for doing what a created being does.
  • The god God, being a super-being, created a scientifically sound universe, so there’s no need to explain anything about existence in terms of magic.
  • The god God didn’t create evil and the god God doesn’t beam down a sense of perfect morality to humans. People are just doing what they’re doing. Like dogs or dolphins or ants.
  • Basically, if I’m unlucky enough for any of this to ever happen, I’ll make sure that the god God is a benevolent little friend in my head who wishes everyone well and plans to sort everything out to the satisfaction of everyone at some point in the future.

If you’re already a fan of the god God but don’t enjoy some of the aspects of Christianity that are unpleasant (like telling people an invisible spirit is trying to trick them into being nasty, or being stupidly judgemental about consensual sex, or treating women like second-class citizen brooding mares, or teaching children unscientific nonsense, or sitting in a draughty buildings singing terrible songs) please feel free adopt my emergency plan Christianity. No fee required.