for the linguistic creationists
Many of you will be familiar with the the cult of Linguistic Creationists and their holy text, the Biblingua, which they believe was revealed in a series of divine whispers from the omniscient deity and creator of language, Hermesa. Although some of us now suspect that language has evolved naturally, many people still cling to the myths and rules of this popular cult.
vocabulary
On the first day, Hermesa created words. May the holy words of Hermes never be subject to the wicked perversion of meaning revision.
It’s difficult when you get to a certain age to adjust to the fact that words, and indeed expressions, are not divinely defined in tablets of stone. There is proof that words evolve, in the form of new words entering our dictionaries on a regular basis. But it’s not just the new words that are a cause of vitriol from the Linguist Creationist cult followers but changes in meaning. So, for instance, a word that was once popularly used to describe a particular group of people can come to have pejorative connotations. Following the Golden Rule principle of treating others as we wish to be treated, it is only courteous to refrain from using these words once it has been established that they cause insult and pain to minority groups. We all know examples I need not name here across the linguist realm of labels attached to groups defining their race, disability or sexual orientation. Just because you used these words when you were 10 years old, doesn’t mean that 20 years later you can still freely use them, when the harm they cause has now been expressed and is well understood.
spelling & grammar
On the second day, Hermesa created spelling & grammar. May these divinely fixed rules never undergo change in the name of simplifying written or oral expression.
Something the linguistic creationists refuse to acknowledge is that when a language moves to a new territory, it continues to exist in a similar yet, over time, amended form. We can see a clear of example of this in the usage of English – in its native England they write ‘colour’ while in many of the newly populated English-speaking territories they simplified the spelling to ‘color’. This revision of spelling causes severe nausea for cult followers and they believe it can alter the standing of spelling sinners in their afterlife scenario. Many linguistic creationists trawl the internet for perceived (yet accepted by secular authorities) offences against Hermes that are accounted for by the natural evolution and simplification of language.
exclusive perfection of cult followers
Hermesa saw all she had created and it was dandy. Then Hermesa said, “These are the laws of Perfect Language with which I fill your soul. Be not tempted to the dark side, for there will be those among who attempt to pervert my holy gift. But know ye this, by your fruit ye shall be known.”
The hierarchy of Hermesa’s cult of language are generally rich and well-educated. They use their status to attempt to humiliate people from more modest origins with differing linguistic role models, or who haven’t had the inclination or opportunity to dedicate time to the study of High Language. The cult followers deny that linguistic discrimination based on origin is at play here and claim that true followers of Hermesa will always be guided to ‘error-free’ language by her invisible tongue. It’s a divisive belief that undermines the very purpose of language – communication – and seeks to create status indicators based on background.
evolutionary theory guerilla group
As many of us attempt to tear down the harmful barriers that cult followers have built within our society, we want to encourage others to move away this harmful ideology. Language is a communication tool in motion, and we need to move with this very natural progression – not fight it. There is no evidence to suggest it was created by deities of any description. Finally, we would like to share the following motto of our linguistic guerilla group:
If we now what your trying to say, dusn’t matter much if its not brilliantly wurded LOL
This is brilliant! This might even be better than FSM, Peace Be Upon Him.
“If you remove letters from the word “book” you get “ook”, “bok” and “boo”, all of which are nonsensical and hence not sustainable by usage for subsequent evolution into meaningful words. It is thus impossible that the word “book” developed from any other word, it must have been created by God so in order to be used.”
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Hilarious! I had to google FSM, thinking it was a Christian along the lines of acronymed WLC and thought patterns of the banana man, so flying spaghetti monster was a nice surprise! They’re not quite that stupid … maybe. Did you spot the section you inspired? 🙂
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I can relate. I did this just recently, myself. Only I accidentally transposed the letters. It got interesting after that. 😀
Fantastic post. Perhaps Hermesa was a Neanderthal. Lol
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/03/140302185241.htm
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Don’t say blasphemous things about the Divine One! 😉
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😀
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Sorry, i didn’t get a notice that you replied.
yes, I did.
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How did the samba dancing in your specially stitched costume go? Please feel free to share the pictures. 🙂
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Swimmingly, thanks.
Did you see anything on the News?
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Were you on TV??
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My dancing doesn’t belong on TV. We have to think of Brazilian sensibilities here, you understand.
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Reblogged this on Allallt in discussion.
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Thanks!
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It’s a clever and witty post. It deserved the reblog!
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I luv dis! ❤
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That probably just made some grammarphobe hyperventilate.
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Ha ha, undoubtedly! But I’m pleased you’ve joined the guerilla movement. 🙂
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I like this. I just learnt of a new cult
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I’ll send you a copy of the Biblingua when I get a minute. Hermesa is a wonderful deity.
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Say What?
Smashing post!
Like the pic. thought John said yesterday he doesn’t do selfies? 😉
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Hmm, I’ve just discovered it’s not an original idea (not really surprising, it’s a rather obvious angle) but nonetheless I’m happy to fight the corner against grammar nazis and people using nasty words because they’ve developed an aversion to being politically correct.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Linguistic_Creationism
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You’re lucky its taken me till now to see this 😉
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Arfernoon, John! 🙂
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Evening actually. How was the courtroom today?
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Yes,of course, evening it is.
Courtroom?
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You really don’t watch any News, do you?
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No. I watched a bit of cricket that’s all.
I even got a surprise over this Russia thing. Saw it over on Pink’s spot and thought What?
So…tell me?
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Okay…Googled it. The Pistorious thing, yes?
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That’s it. Can you believe CNN International carried an hour of it Live today?
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I shall rely on you for updates, yes? 🙂
I just heard, via my son, that SA cricket captain, Smith is retiring. Now that is news.
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Your team is presently as bad as ours. I’m hoping the Windies come good so we can have something entertaining to watch again.
Hey, pop on over to the comments in my last post. go down to some of the last threads. Ken is on fire, but he’s just realised why you lose it with these apologists.
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Why do you invite Ark to pop over to your post and not me? I can be really huffy, you know! 😉
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[whispering] Because he hasn’t been indoctrinated into our cult, yet… and i’ve heard Yarpies shoot people in their bathrooms when they get upset.
Pop over, Ken would appreciate a hand.
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Wow, you really do live in a bubble. The news here yesterday was concentrating more on South Africa than the Ukraine. Absolutely bizarre, I mean, who cares? Perhaps the verdict is of mild interest but live coverage of people not yet arrived at court? Makes me mad.
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When I had my own salon we used to have the radio on and over time the format gradually changed from music to talk radio.
The problem with this in such an environment, clients rushing in and out, hairdryers on all day, we began to notice it was taking twice as long to do a simple cut and blow because we were all listening to the bloody radio!
And the topics of conversation began to alter our moods as well to the point that there would be ‘sulking’ over some stupid comment or topic.
That was it. No more talk radio in the salon.
And this is at least one reason I do not watch or listen to ”News”
We only ever buy a Saturday newspaper at the Ark’s spot and this is solely for the crosswords.
Half the time, once I have removed the motoring and gardening supplements I’ll chuck the rest in the recycle bag without even looking
Of course , I am aware of who Pistorious is and what not, but the details are unimportant.
Thus, where necessary, I turn to my mate in Brazil and other internet pals for all the News wot is News.
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Weird. I feel guilty for not keeping up to date with all global events. It’s our duty as responsible electing citizens in democracies. But the fact that most of us can’t be bothered or don’t have time for all the nonsense leads to the excuse for democracy and the resulting poor decisions that we put up with. Sigh.
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That’s what I thought! Even Aunty was carrying it Live. Meanwhile in the rest of the world….
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What do you say to people learning English? I know the rules, so I may break them and be more expressive: but other people can’t, necessarily. And while regional variants- them things, they things, those things- are OK, no-one says that things. Isn’t it?
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I agree, you usually have to reach a certain level of mastery before you can play effectively with language. Although, saying that, I know some people who manage it with basic knowledge and to deliberately comic effect. But, yes, whatever is in common usage is fine. You can start saying ‘that things’ if you want and see how long before it catches on … although Hermesa may show her rage.
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This post was inspired in the main by Pink’s annoying ‘corrections’ of things that weren’t incorrect. But he doesn’t read my posts all the time, and I didn’t pingback because I thought it would be rude given we don’t know each other that well. So, if you get a suitable moment to drop it in conversation, or you could alert me if he does more ‘corrections’. Like a reluctant spy or something. 🙂
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He is French, and remember they have an Academy to sort such things.
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Did Hermesa set the Academy up? Wow, he’s even cleverer than I thought! I don’t like it when people wield my mother tongue better than I do. 🙂
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Do remember the Tower of Babel, which Answers in Genesis http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/nab2/was-babel-dispersion-real-event dates at 2242BC, about a thousand years after Dynasty 0 in Egypt, long after Egypt developed writing- which did not change then.
Is it feasible for 7,000 languages to develop from less than 100 in 4,000 years? The languages that came out of the confusion at Babel were “root languages” or language families. Over time, those root languages have varied by borrowing from other languages, developing new terms and phrases, and losing previous words and phrases.
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“The Tower of Babel explains why everyone doesn’t speak the same language today.” Oh I see! Hermesa must be furious with the god God. As if she doesn’t have enough of her plate with the human spelling sinners … I’m off to look at your swan pictures, the images don’t come through to my phone.
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Don’t know why but this reminds me of the language in dystopia novel, 1984, where the totalitarian state removes words from the dictionary and makes up new ones. Some famous words to come out of this include “thoughtcrime” and “doublethink”. Random I know!
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I’m not sure if that is meant as a compliment, a back-handed compliment or a criticism. But in any case I’m simply delighted that my humble writing would bring Orwell, divine son of Hermesa on Earth, to mind. Thank you!
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Compliment of course!
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Now I’m fascinated. What did Pink correct you on? I appreciate corrections, but I had one comment from him about a Spanish comment I made (not critical) and another from an Argentinian (I think) and they both differed 😀
I sit on the grammar fence just like the agnostic/atheist one. People who can spell and can use correct grammar should do that. People who have had a poor education and/or have dyslexia should be applauded for trying to write anything getting in the face of grammazis.
My gripe about American English is that it is now taken as the default on computers. Computer English perhaps? Either way, the word is English and so is the language and I am annoyed at having to scroll down to find my own language. I don’t like color or humor or tires and I don’t wish to use them. There is insidious pressure on me to do so. And I won’t.
On the other hand I totally agree that we should change our language to not insult minority groups and can bore for British England about that one. And do.
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He didn’t correct me personally on anything, but on one of my posts he corrected someone saying “oneself” to say it should be “one’s self”, which doesn’t even seem to be the case. Oneself can be used in all contexts. But I also saw him at it I think on one of Clare’s post and maybe on one of his own too. I didn’t realise he’s French, it does explain having more of a sense of ‘rules’ about language. I think Italians are the worst at that kind of game. Maybe I should have the post translated. 🙂
There are a lot of words I find I don’t know how to spell these days – I had to google aeroplane when I typed airplane and felt thoroughly confused. I’m not bothered about anything that simplifies the nonsense of English language spelling. Do you not find it frustrating when you compare it to Spanish? I feel ashamed – a thoroughly tough bough indeed.
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Oh I saw that. Um, I agreed with him. But it’s like roofs and rooves. I go for rooves.
And jewellery.
I don’t pick on spelling or grammar, I do pick on derogatory language.
French Hispanic as far as I am aware. With almost perfect English. I think I have noticed one minor non-native speaking flaw 😀 on a comment or a blog. If he reads this he will hate me for ever!!
I use ‘plane. But I do find it frustrating that my spelling knowledge has deteriorated with the internet. I hate on-screen spelling and writing. I have to look up words too when in the past I was soaring in leaps and bounds with my words.
Spanish is so phonetic which is good, but I don’t have the usage of a native speaker. I can write well enough for people to understand me, just that I feel it is clumsy.
Life gets tougher. La vida va más dura.
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A flaw? I doubt it – probably a computer error. 🙂
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😀
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ROUGHSEASINTHEMED
Join me in my campaign to rid CNN International of American English. Every month of so I fire off an email whinging about their English usage. If it’s “International,” as they seem keen to promote, then use bloody English (and metric system).
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I would if I read CNN at all. But as it’s American based (presumably) I don’t. I don’t even read the BBC pages unless I can help it because their standard of journalism is appalling. I stick t carping about poor use of words and americanisation (of Emily?) on my clouds blog. Awesome? Loathesome.
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