the god God’s contribution to modern medicine


The Christian god God and his son, Jesus Christ, with whom he is one being, left some invaluable advice to us humans about life here on Earth, in their jointly authored book, the Bible. This book can be used to help us understand how to care for our fragile human bodies.

dr god the psychiatrist

When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way.‘What do you want with us, Son of God?’ they shouted. ‘Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?’ Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. The demons begged Jesus, ‘If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.’ He said to them, ‘Go!’ So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. (Matthew 8:28-32)

When dealing with someone who has a mental illness, it seems odd that Jesus didn’t encourage the development of studies into the brain, or point to a locally growing herb that may have alleviated symptoms. He didn’t attempt to discuss anything with the two violent men to see if there were any issues that needed to be resolved. No, Jesus, the living incarnation of an omniscient god (perhaps the one and only creator god) believed what every primitive society in the history of mankind believed, and put it all down to evil spirits occupying their bodies. Dr God the psychiatrist is not off to a good start.

dr god the obstetrician

But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband’– here the priest is to put the woman under this curse – ‘may the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.’ (Numbers 5: 20-22)

The god God is a skilled abortionist and encourages adulterous women to rid themselves of pregnancies conceived out of wedlock. This isn’t the only occasion the Bible mentions abortion, it’s also encouraged as a battle tactic against people who have misbehaved.

The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open. (Hosea 13:16)

To my knowledge, abortion, which was a common practice in biblical days, isn’t mentioned anywhere else in the Bible. So it seems odd, given that the god God clearly had no moral issue with terminating pregnancies, that the pro-life crowd is dominated by Christians who claim to follow this book. Dr God is an enthusiastic and seasoned abortionist, but it doesn’t look like he has women’s best interests at heart in his recommended courses of action.

dr god the infectious diseases specialist

A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.’ Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be clean!’ Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.  (Matthew 8:2-4)

Jesus demonstrates here that if you have true faith in the god God you can cure people of infectious diseases by touching them. This knowledge hasn’t proved to be very useful to the millions of people that continued to suffer and die from leprosy after this one ‘show cure’. It would certainly have been useful, and impressive, to have revealed a longer term ‘show cure’, such as dapsone or the oil from the chaulmoogra nut. Given that even the high priest of Christianity, the Pope of Rome, can’t cure lepers with his faith by touching them, we can’t expect common garden Christians to have much more luck. And they don’t. However, Dr God the infectious diseases specialist did have one positive effect in this case, in that he eased some of the social stigma of leprosy.


I wouldn’t like to jump to any rash conclusions based on this short analysis of the god God’s contribution to modern medicine. But, as far as I can see, the most technically relevant medical advice given in the Bible is that abortions can be performed by slicing a pregnant woman’s stomach open. Is this the sum total of helpful medical advice that an omniscient being can convey to humanity? Or was the Bible written by a rabble of Bronze Age men? I’ll leave my readers to come to their own conclusions

Thanks to Clare Flourish for inspiring this post by connecting me with this eejit who made the following declaration: “surgery is a rebellion against the way God created you”.