the snarling and fanged beast


I read a post earlier today that has had a big impact on my understanding of the struggle that heterosexual men face in everyday life. I’m ashamed to admit that until I read Watch Where You’re Bathing by the ever misguided Becky, I thought it was okay for me, as a female of the species, to wear whatever makes me comfortable.

If tight or short or low cut get men to turn their heads, is dressing that way really innocent, innocuous conduct? How can we continue to think women bear no blame for setting men up to fail when it comes to their lustful thoughts?

Now I know I’m wrong. And now I know that, like Becky, I should really retreat into a burka for the rest of my sexually alluring years, lest I fill some unsuspecting heterosexual man’s dirty mind with vile thoughts that could lead to uncontrollable actions or simply eternal damnation.

Becky’s post was inspired by the fact that the Bible character Bathsheba (a married woman generally understood to have been raped by King David) was asking for it by bathing in a private place of bathing while a royal pervert spied on her from a rooftop. But even though Becky convinced me that we women need to change our attitudes to clothing and bathing so that men don’t get unnecessarily randy, my understanding reached new depths as I read the response of one of her readers in the comments section:

I don’t think most women understand the snarling clawed and fanged beast our post fall sexual selves actually are. That said, yes, we are responsible, and by God’s grace we CAN help it, but it is WAR. Can ya be on our side please ladies?

Anyone, who hasn’t yet vomited into their Saturday night drink can join me in an analysis of just how messed up these Christians must be if they can’t recognise the line their reasoning travels down to placing women in sealed boxes only to be opened for copulation. Do legs turn you on? Nothing above the knee? What about the sexiness of ankles? Please don’t underestimate how much they will turn you on if most women start covering them up. And let’s not get on to the glossy suggestive sexuality reeking out of every bouncy shiny hair on a female head – get your headscarves out ladies!

I don’t want to be responsible for releasing any sexually repressed man’s snarling fanged beast. And I hope my sisters will join the fight to save the souls of these poor, randy, heterosexual Christian men. Start covering up all parts of your body that any man finds attractive, and don’t stop till you’re invisible.