lurking 18 – the internet is a pee stain on the wall


Another Angry Woman writes an interesting post about Nice Guys:

Nice Guys are men who consider their lack of dating success to be down to the fact that they’re “too nice”, often bemoaning the fact that they end up in the dreaded “friendzone”, wherein women want to be their friend but nothing more.

She doesn’t mince her words in the post and has a straight-forward response:

Being nice isn’t the cheat code to a woman’s knickers, and it’s not OK to be resentful about this fact. Nobody is entitled to sex. Absolutely nobody. If you are a genuinely decent human being, you need to be prepared to hear the word “no”. And you need to be prepared to deal with that “no”, and accept that.

I have to say I agree with her. But I particularly love almost everything about one of the comments she gets, from Phil Hartup:

You’re right, but I think a tad unsympathetic. It’s important to consider just how much society lies to young men as they grow up. Our culture bombards us with mixed messages about what women want while at the same time continually telling us that they are this alien species that are not like us and don’t think like we do. We live in a culture that frowns on promiscuity and tells us that somebody out there will be perfect and that when they come along we’ll know it and we’ll be immediately and irrevocably joined. Few areas of life are this closely examined by our art and media yet at the same time few are so grossly misrepresented.

Most guys realise this is not how it works right from the off. But a lot of guys don’t learn this right away, bad lessons get learned and before you know it you’re not only behind the curve when dealing with relationships but you’ve got a head full of wrongthink that you need to unlearn before you can even start to catch up. Of course instead of complaining to a best mate or a random bartender men now take their incoherent musing to the internet, where rather than being forgotten in the morning it remains like a pee stain on a wall.

The funny thing is that this isn’t a new problem. Hell without whiny men getting upset because the women they fancy can’t see that they are brilliant about ninety percent of poetry would never have been written.