top 10 benefits of christianity


1. As far as you are concerned, you get to live forever.

2. You get to believe that you are incredibly special and made by someone powerful who cares about you beyond any human ability.

3. You can feel confident that there is ultimate justice, and all those who have behaved in an unreasonable manner in this life will inevitably pay the price.

4. You can rest assured that anything harmful you want to do is the fault of a woman called Eve and an evil dark angel called Satan.

5. You don’t have to feel guilty about hungry people because you’ve given at least 10% of your income to ‘charity’.

6. If you get ill or when you get old, people from the church will probably keep you company.

7. You never feel lonely because you have a ‘friend’ to chat to in your head.

8. You have a ready-made group of people to socialise with (at least once a week), and you don’t have make any effort or do any of the arrangements yourself.

9. If you’re a sociopath missing a moral compass you’ll be provided some handy hints about some basic ways to behave.

10. You can be celibate, a polygamist or a monogamist; a killer or a pacifist; a rich person or a poor person; a pig-eater or a vegan; turn water into wine or shun all alcohol; you can judge other people or live and let live; you can extract an eye for eye, or turn the other cheek. You can do anything you want and find confirmation it’s the ‘correct’ thing to do, according to the holy Word of the god God.

Inspired by d’Ark, the hateful atheist.