for the linguistic creationists


Many of you will be familiar with the the cult of Linguistic Creationists and their holy text, the Biblingua, which they believe was revealed in a series of divine whispers from the omniscient deity and creator of language, Hermesa. Although some of us now suspect that language has evolved naturally, many people still cling to the myths and rules of this popular cult.


On the first day, Hermesa created words. May the holy words of Hermes never be subject to the wicked perversion of meaning revision.

It’s difficult when you get to a certain age to adjust to the fact that words, and indeed expressions, are not divinely defined in tablets of stone. There is proof that words evolve, in the form of new words entering our dictionaries on a regular basis. But it’s not just the new words that are a cause of vitriol from the Linguist Creationist cult followers but changes in meaning. So, for instance, a word that was once popularly used to describe a particular group of people can come to have pejorative connotations. Following the Golden Rule principle of treating others as we wish to be treated, it is only courteous to refrain from using these words once it has been established that they cause insult and pain to minority groups. We all know examples I need not name here across the linguist realm of labels attached to groups defining their race, disability or sexual orientation. Just because you used these words when you were 10 years old, doesn’t mean that 20 years later you can still freely use them, when the harm they cause has now been expressed and is well understood.

spelling & grammar

On the second day, Hermesa created spelling & grammar. May these divinely fixed rules never undergo change in the name of simplifying written or oral expression.

Something the linguistic creationists refuse to acknowledge is that when a language moves to a new territory, it continues to exist in a similar yet, over time, amended form. We can see a clear of example of this in the usage of English – in its native England they write ‘colour’ while in many of the newly populated English-speaking territories they simplified the spelling to ‘color’. This revision of spelling causes severe nausea for cult followers and they believe it can alter the standing of spelling sinners in their afterlife scenario. Many linguistic creationists trawl the internet for perceived (yet accepted by secular authorities) offences against Hermes that are accounted for by the natural evolution and simplification of language.

exclusive perfection of cult followers

Hermesa saw all she had created and it was dandy. Then Hermesa said, “These are the laws of Perfect Language with which I fill your soul. Be not tempted to the dark side, for there will be those among who attempt to pervert my holy gift. But know ye this, by your fruit ye shall be known.”

The hierarchy of Hermesa’s cult of language are generally rich and well-educated. They use their status to attempt to humiliate people from more modest origins with differing linguistic role models, or who haven’t had the inclination or opportunity to dedicate time to the study of High Language. The cult followers deny that linguistic discrimination based on origin is at play here and claim that true followers of Hermesa will always be guided to ‘error-free’ language by her invisible tongue. It’s a divisive belief that undermines the very purpose of language – communication – and seeks to create status indicators based on background.

evolutionary theory guerilla group

As many of us attempt to tear down the harmful barriers that cult followers have built within our society, we want to encourage others to move away this harmful ideology. Language is a communication tool in motion, and we need to move with this very natural progression – not fight it. There is no evidence to suggest it was created by deities of any description. Finally, we would like to share the following motto of our linguistic guerilla group:

If we now what your trying to say, dusn’t matter much if its not brilliantly wurded LOL