advice for young Christians on marriage
Many young Christians have the idealistic expectation of enjoying sex in one exclusive marriage of a lifetime. They hope that their god will provide the perfect spouse for their mutual sexual enjoyment. I’m concerned for a number of reasons.
1. You don’t get to live with this individual before you commit to sharing your whole life with them. Some people, even best friends, seem perfectly fine until you move in with them. You’re likely to be having kids with someone before you can even assess if you are compatible housemates.
2. You don’t get to find out if your sexual desire and emotional connection will endure beyond the initial two or three year sexual honeymoon period. Once the initial buzz of having sex for the first few years has worn off, you leave yourself open to the realisation that there’s no long-term sexual chemistry. And you’re not allowed to change your mind!
3. You are likely to spend some or most of your sexual peak years in your teens and early 20s trying not to think about having sex with people you are unavoidably sexually attracted to. This twisted denial of natural instincts is a psychological minefield that can only lead to wonky attitudes in your later sex life.
4. As we discovered in the last post, your spouse might use biblical rebuking techniques to convince you that your body belongs to him and you are contractually obliged as his possession to be his unwilling sexual play thing.
I think all things considered there are only two sensible options for young Christians when it comes to marriage. One involves never getting married, and the other involves losing your potentially dangerous religion.
Like I say Violet. You have never had a clue what Christianity is.
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How I wish you would help me! Can you tell me what parts of the post are inaccurate?
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You already read these. http://tiribulus.net/wordpress/?p=203
But that’s’ not even the point. Your entire worldview is self serving, hedonistic idolatry. It won’t make any difference what anybody says. For all the talk about how dangerous Christians are, you will poison your own children with this, live a life of immorality and then go to a hell you claim you don’t believe in in answer for defying the God of the universe and worshiping yourself instead of him.
Every particle of thought that scampers across your mind is “inaccurate” Violet. Degenerate moral standards is just a symptom. If Ruth is still game here pretty soon, that ‘s what her and I were talking about.
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What makes you the moral authority sir? I see to many Christians who believe themselves and their faith so pure. You are aware it was Christians who founded and settled America right? Those same Christians murdered the peoples who rightfully owned this land. Unarmed women and children slaughtered in the name of god and the country he supposedly blessed.
Ahh but you can force your morals on others again the double standard do onto others except I will do unto you. Besides if you live in America this was my peoples country until self appointed Christians committed genocide. Yeah you are high and mighty indeed. Try again on who imposes what my friend.
The Sioux nation thrived before your so called western civilization and Christianity arrived. We also had the American dream long before America was even a thought with elected officials, laws, a way to take care of our injured and lame, equal opportunity, women voted just like men, everything America pretends to be. Yet we did it 1000 plus years before westerners and we were the savages. My ass..
So I ask again what gives Christians the right to pretend to be moral people when your history is chuck full of intolerance, genocide, hate? Really this is the best you have? Pass I’ll keep my god and my ways. Christians brought slavery, scalping and so much wrong to this country. And now you wish to talk tolerance and morality? I would never live under sharia law but I refuse to live under your laws. Mine were here 1000 years before westerns showed up. We had no slaves, war was short and often without blood, we thrived and the land was pure and clean. Westerners brought pollution, intolerance and death. Yup sounds like a moral high ground to me.. NOT.. next time save the preaching and moral superiority because Christians are far from pure and good. /NEXT!
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Thanks for your perspective, very interesting. I hope Tiribulus can learn something from this.
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Tiribulus is continuing to learn that Violet and her friends, like this young lady, haven’t the first flickering clue what Christianity is. Not that it would essentially matter if you did. But you don’t.
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Nice way to tip toe around the subject. I know far more about Christianity than you think. I study everything and am voracious with my appetite for knowledge. I have read your bible I can probably quote it as well as any Christian you know. I also know the history of your bible as well. So keep making wild assumptions it is making an ass of you…but not me. Cheers and peace and love bro.
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“I also know the history of your bible as well.” – And THAT, Michelle, is the crux of the matter – very few Christians ever bother to learn the book’s history, if they did, they wouldn’t be so quick to claim it’s inerrancy.
From 600 AD to roughly 1600 AD – a full thousand years – the Catholic Church forbade publication of the Bible in any language but Latin. As roughly 3% of the Western world could even read at all, and as a similarly small percentage of those who could, could read Latin, this left the Church in almost complete control of what information was disseminated. The average person could not study the Bible at all.
Finally, the edict was lifted, and the Bible could be published in other languages. Regarding this, Thomas Selden, philosopher and mathematician had this to say:
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Sorry – John Selden – my thoughts were on something else.
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It was first translated to Greek and that is where much of the problem lay. Words like murder and kill in Greek are interchangeable but not in Hebrew.
Sad really the two plus dozen differing bibles with unique translations by the hand of man. yet somehow after mans hand it’s still the holy work of god himself.
Even the Hebrew bible is passed down orally for 2000 years. Before it began to be written down. Those “predictions 100s of years in the future weren’t written until 100s of years after they occurred in many cases. Hind site is always 20/20.
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“It was first translated to Greek and that is where much of the problem lay.” – That’s also how the Hebrew word, “almah,” in Isiah, became mistranslated into “virgin,” when it simply meant “young girl.”
The “Textus Recepticus,” compiled by Desiderius Erasmus, was found to contain upward of 30,000 variations from the original Hebrew scripture. It was later revised, by editors who went back and re-addressed the original Hebrew texts, but regardless of its errors, it eventually greatly influenced the King James Bible. Even then, the king gave the translators instructions intended to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its belief in an ordained clergy. For example, old ecclesiastical words such as the word “church” were to be retained and not to be translated as “congregation.”
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“Tiribulus is continuing to learn that Violet and her friends, like this young lady, haven’t the first flickering clue what Christianity is.” – With nearly 40,000 Christian sects, it’s patently obvious that no one does.
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Tiribulus, you are nothing but a disgusting, ignorant flucking idiot.
And you can take the ‘L’ and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.
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C’mon, Ark – no sugar-coating, tell us how you really feel —
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Dearest Greg, just because we don’t share your interpretation of the Bible doesn’t mean we don’t understand it is you believe. I’m sorry you can’t grasp this simple fact.
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I see you’ve met our pet ogre, Tribulus – Hóka-héy little sister!
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is that metaphorically speaking 😛
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All that’s missing is “Donkey,” but if his god can be three-in-one, I see no reason why T can’t be both ogre and jackass – apparently, neither does he, as he works so hard at both.
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I don’t think he works hard at it, it just naturally flows
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you have touched me. Thank you for your words of grace. Hey I am making a Christian project for YOUTUBE, with my friends, we r raising money for charity(starting this summer). Um for more info please go to my blog. ITs the one that’s say big announcement . Hope to talk soon. From ur friend Brandon. Also need followers and support.
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My good friend Brandon? What a Christian coincidence!
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I experienced this awful crap firsthand, thankfully I was smart and determined enough to get out of the marriage while I was still young… best thing that I have ever done for myself!!
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Glad to hear you escaped before it affected too much of your life. I got out in my early 20s and breathe a sigh of relief that I didn’t have one of those painfully awkward Christian marriages I so often see.
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Oh gosh they are so awkward to watch, aren’t they? And I feel so much pity for those kids that should be in college, but they’re already married with a baby on the way. That is super awesome how you escaped in your early 20’s! Good for you. I wish I had of escaped that early!
Cheers to freedom! 😉
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But for those Christians out there who DO marry (and you know who you are) – first, submit to sterilization so that you can’t possibly produce children who could turn out like Tiribulus, above.
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This is an interesting post, do you have any first has experience with Christian couples having the problems you described here? Or are all of these potentially bad things just hypothetical?
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I get the impression that BGR sent some of his loving, Christian imps over to visit.
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No, I don’t even know who BGR is. I was scrolling through posts and came across yours.
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Son of god 194 – did I say you were one?
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Never mind. I was actually interested in talking to you.
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My loss —
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Beneli, thanks for your comment and apologies you were pounced on with a rude reply. I have first hand experience of almost following the route described above, and obviously have observed those who did marry on that basis and have suffered as a result. You’re right that they are only potentially problems, and I’m sure many Christian marriages are formed on the above basis that are happy and successful. For me, it makes more sense to thoroughly research what you’re getting into before you commit to a relationship you aim to last a lifetime that involves bringing new lives into the world. What’s your perspective?
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I totally agree with you, I research everything before I make a decision and I don’t think it should be any different in marriage.
However, I don’t believe that a sexual experience with somebody is a critical part of that research.
Obviously I’m looking at this from a Christian perspective, but I’m also able to see it from a non Christian perspective as I have not always been a Christian.
I did not wait for marriage to have sex and I can honestly say that’s my biggest regret in life. I wish so much that I could have had that kind of bond with JUST my wife in such an intimate way. I have experienced sex outside of marriage and inside of marriage and I can honestly say that the way the bible lays the blueprints for sex and marriage of Christians, when done correctly, is unbeatable.
I agree with the potential problems you addressed as being possible, but I think that in one way or another a Christian marriage ending up like that is not because it’s how the bible teaches it should be, but because one or both of the spouses is getting twisted somehow.
Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts!
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I think sex becomes a bigger issue than it needs to be for Christians. All this fear of thinking natural thoughts, and placing so much emphasis on the unique ‘bond’ in marriage gives people false expectations. It’s just sex and we’re likely to feel the urge with various people in our lives. It’s easier to deal with when there’s not so much attached to it and experience has shown you the different ways it can develop.
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The reason it is a big deal to Christians is that it’s a big deal in the bible and because we see the bible as authoritative we take what it says seriously (just trying to help you understand our point of view). We don’t see it as “just sex” because we believe there is a very deep and spiritual side to sex. I 100% believe that me having sex before i was married to a girl that would not be my wife has been the number one biggest strain on me in our marriage. I agree that we are likely to feel the urge for other people in our lives, but I don’t believe that we are to be slaves to our bodies. Just because my body has an urge does that mean I have to submit to it? Not at all.
If there is too much emphasis put on the unique bond of marriage, then what is the point of marriage if not a unique bond?
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If you have time, check out my post “My first year as a husband” it would help give you some context about myself and how I view marriage from a biblical perspective.
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I can think of nothing more comical than two virgins in bed.
The millenia-old argument for female virginity in a misogynistic society IS a rather rational one though – at least from the male point of view – what man wouldn’t like to hear his new bride say, “That’s the biggest d**k I’ve ever seen!” – and mean it?
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Are you even married? Or older than 30? It sounds like you’re feeding the high school is everything type of mentality. Are we all insecure men who need measuring sticks?
You do realize the girl that wants to experiment is simply a frat boys dream? Or that a guy wanting you to cheat on your husband really respects you? Oh honey… Self esteem and respect aren’t found in the lowest common denominator.
I just pity whatever twisted form of love you’ve been given, but someday i hope you find a real love. Real love is when you both push each other and demand upon each other, thats growth and passion far more than expirementation with what goes where.
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As someone who is older that 40, I concur with much of what Violet speaks of.
Having been a part of Josh Harris ( I Kissed Dating Goodbye) church at one point, I saw first hand some of the concerns that Violet raises about Christians and their view on marriage.
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Violet is sweet 19 always. Why would you make such a judgement on a person you don’t know really? Is it not better to deal with the content of her argument that to unnecessarily disparage her person
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When one is handing out relationship advice they are resting on self-authority… which is natural, noone knows another’s relationship.
The giver of such advice rest ad hominum and can be adressed as such.
Namely, who does she think she is?
She’s telling other folks they are living wrong! And trying to fix their sex life at that! I can’t think of anything more private to stick your nose in that isn’t going to smell real sour.
The only appeal to such advice is to appeal to authority, which is also ad hominem. She’s free to go there too.
But if that’s what you gonna call disparagement, than any conversion is gonna be over faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.
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I have never been in a knife fight, so I don’t know how fast they end.
I have reread V’s post.
Who does she think she is- a woman with an opinion about sex just as you have yours.
she is not telling anyone they are living wrong. In fact she says right at the beginning of the post these are opinions raised in a previous post.
Every so often I give my friends relationship advice. Am no authority and hardly appeal to any. Why has she to appeal to any authority? You have personal experience, you can give opinion based on that.
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And I did. She sounds inexperienced. And she’s not nuetral with just ann opinion, she says another view is dangerous. She’s trying to pursued.
Your weaseling on this one Like you are trying to win an argument; she approved the comment or doesn’t moderate them.
And don’t through “she’s a woman” in such a backbiting passive aggressive manner. Makes you sound like a tool. You’re just conflating the thing now to try and win an argument, and by doing what you accused me of. All you’ve proved is that you see she’s a woman like it makes a difference and I don’t even see women as different. Sorry I’m to egalitarian for you. And don’t try some “but its different” junk because we’ve already admitted all relationships are different and no one has a corner on the market…
The best respect you can give anyone is to think they were worth a darn enough to debate. If you don’t care you just click close.
But whatever, you need to win this fine. You win. I give you the whole prize ands the medal de merit. Don’t spend the prize in one place. You can even respond and get the last word and feel like the big man that defended the delicate female sexuality from a males aggression. If I was ethnic you’d have the trifecta of white paternalism.
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You are to fast. are you saying she isn’t a woman? where am i trying to weasle out of anything? maybe you have some scores you want to settle with me, I have none.
whose tool? you think she could have asked me to be her bulldog? really? you think so shallowly? you sound like you you can’t count the number of fingers you have in each hand.
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Whose tool? Ugh… That’s not what that means. Try urban dictionary.
Weasel words also don’t mean weaseling out of, it means being alussive or fishing for things.
And a score? A bit self important… And again you had to put it so passive aggressive “I have none.” Please, you couldn’t get by the last word come on and went right for the 1 up prize too! Passive agressive one upmanship. And sorry I’m to far for you to think of your come backs.
I guess you’ll go for grammar or a spelling error next. I’m sure everyone watching you act like a TOOL is really impressed with you right now.
Oh wait, nobody cares.
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You can have the last word on this. And while at it, you can have a pleasant day
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It sounds, Mak, like he came on the board to bully, else why the belligerence?
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And then calls me an idiot for not having urban dictionary definition of words at my fingertips. Silly person I say
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Interesting. You complain of passive aggressive behavior yet you react in a similar fashion, almost to the point of whining.
Ego issues?
Violetwisp inexperienced! Hah! I think she may want to enlighten you on this score.
Or maybe not?
The post relates specifically to Christianity, and draws from the previous post. As you are a Christian maybe you ought to address the veracity of the tenets of your religion first?
In fact, perhaps what you really need to be addressing is the issue pertaining to the warped religious ideals put forward as basis for sound marriage in the previous post?
Just a thought.
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You don’t write very well, Lionheart2 – is English not your first language? If not, then I can understand.
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Self authority? Why because you or your god says so? What if I don’t give a rats ass what the toilet paper of a book says? Your bible like the Quran is a fraud. It isn’t even properly translated from hebrew. Hell most bible today still say thou shalt not kill when the word used in hebrew is MURDER and it is a very different word.
Why do christians when I have already pointed out the evils Christianity and self righteous twits using it have brought to this world? You are not in any moral position because of your god trust me. So get off the judgmental horse and do what your bible instructs. leave the judgment to god. You were told by the words first hippy peace and love dude, peace and love.
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Hi Michelle, we meet again and in such a very good way. There is nothing to be added to this.
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And before anyone says anything about my English, no English is my 4th language. Sign, Lakota, Malisett, English, Spanish, Russian, a little French (Conversational not fluent). I read lips in Lakota, English and Russian before getting my CI and now joining the hearing world some what. Though reading lips is still easier for me,
So pardon my English but you wouldn’t be able to read the others and understand them.
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And that wasn’t directed at you Makagugtu. It was at the people who have commented on Lionheart2 and his poor English.
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Congratulations on your much linguistic learning. Your clear talents are a gracious gift of the God you deny. I rejoice in His glory, even in those who hate Him.
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According to “you” I deny god. However I could say the same for you. Thou shall have NONE before me, dear Jesus please tell god …
See you like to claim moral high ground and I already answered that for you. Christians and Christianity has been used to commit vile and evil things upon this earth.
So do me a favor and save your self righteous stupidity and do what you were told to do. Love your neighbor and leave judgment to god for he is the only judge.
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PS If it was a “gift” from god I wouldn’t have had to put the work in that I did. To simply give all credit to your imagined god is to take away my own hard work. I give praise to my god the only heavenly father for giving me the brains to over come and to learn. That was his gift to me and how I choose with my own free will to us it was mine and mine alone. So it was not a gift that I know these languages it was hard work that I do. See the difference? Probably not but it was worth a try.
The big difference between my faith and yours is I didn’t place anyone between me and my father in heaven. When I pray I say father it’s me again… I never lost that personal relationship and I don’t need Jesus to intercede as a message boy. I go straight to the source thanks.
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Michelle, I simply asked if English was not his first language. If it wasn’t, I was perfectly ready to make allowances, despite the fact that it seemed that he simply came here to bully VioletWisp, who doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.
My friend Mak, here, was raised speaking his tribal language, Luo. As he matured, he learned Swahili, the lingua franca of his region of Africa, then, finally, English. Although his English is nearly impeccable, he occasionally leaves off the personal pronoun, “I,” from some of his sentences: “Am a man,” etc. I do not fault him for this because he is likely following the language structure of one of his earlier languages when he does this, and the import of what he has to say, far outweighs what few grammatical errors he may make in English.
We have a few other commenters here whose English is not perfect, and once I understand that they are from other parts of the world (i.e., not the US), I accept that and listen for what they’re saying, rather than how they say it.
But if one is a US citizen, who grew up speaking English, who comes on this board criticizing the blog host, yet whose grammar is so poor as to make it obvious that he is likely not well read or consequently very knowledgeable on the subjects he’s attempting to criticize Vi for, then yes, I’m likely to say something – especially when BNG, the person about whose blog post Vi wrote about that spawned this one, made the boast that he reblogged her post on his own, and implied that we could expect some of his followers over soon, which made me suspicious when I saw someone new suddenly pop up and begin criticizing Vi.
Not apologizing, just explaining.
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Please don’t mistake my comment as a slight. I was merely apologizing in advance for my grimmer skills as well. I screw up a lot trust me. It’s sad I have to think in one language then translate and then rewrite it to make it fluent for others who are native to the English language.
My apology for it I guess was misplaced I am sorry to cause strife or misunderstanding. I ask you forgive me this mistake.
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No apology necessary – I just didn’t want someone attacking Vi who couldn’t spell c-a-t.
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arch I am going to stone you for all the rumours you are spreading about me.
You are always so kind, excusing my sometimes very poor sentence structure and only trying to make sense of what I could be saying. Thanks mate.
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That which is is that which is not is not
That which is, is; that which is not, is not.
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I recall sometime in high school- I don’t know its equivalent in the US- we got such sentences to identify either what mistake there was in their structure or meaning. To my utter dismay, I failed most of the time. I should have paid attention in those classes.
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Frau Styles,
If you note, I said I’d have nothing but self-authority and my own experience either. I’ve even said we can be over presumptuous and stick our nose in other people’s business.
I have not mentioned God at all, nor have I appealed to him.
Thank you for reminding us he does guide all conversation towards his purpose. And I will pray for that strong conviction you have that forces you to bring him up and dwell on him shall bear good fruit.
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You insert your moral authority “frat boys dream” type comments and it wasn’t hard to peg you as a Christian. The rest is simple conjecture.
So what if a girl had sex for fun, for love or for whatever. How many women have you been with honestly? For most men it’s way more than the woman they married but the woman is expected to be a virgin. Ok so all those guys were fucking knotholes in trees I guess. Or perhaps one very happily satisfied lady?
Screw the double standard. Literally and figuratively.
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I don’t believe in the double standard, personally I think that culture embraced the lowest form of male swine and said that’s equality. AKA lowest common denominator.
Women should have demanded men shape up, men should demand men shape up, but instead it became “I’ll out do him!” on both men and women’s accounts.
Male dominated society never had it perfect and was deeply deeply flawed; women’s lib. could of continued to help us correct it as first and second wave feminism DID. They made vast improvements, till free love kicked in. Yet I hold men and women still could cooperate as equals to build a better society that “looks above the waist.”
What you have going on now sure doesn’t seem very solid with billions spent on divorce, half the kids in poverty, and rampant depression.
But nobody deals with unemployment, drugs, or war… no culture is obsessed with who is doing who or what to the point we label people and hate people or accept people based only on genital sets. That’s plain dehumanizing.
Sorry I think telling folks to keep it zipped up for a few more dates might help them have a conversation.
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Thanks for your comment. I am both well over 30 and in a relationship of 14 years duration to date. Thanks for your conjecture, but it doesn’t feel like twisted love to any degree.
I’m confused by the attitude you give above perpetuating this idea that people who don’t wait till they are married to have sex would lose the respect of someone they love. Romantic love isn’t judgemental, it’s much more powerful than that, it’s not a checklist of rationality, and that’s why it’s wise to see how the relationship can pan out in the absence of its delirium. Similarly, attempting a long term committed relationship based on non-romantic love can be problematic, because inevitably one will eventually meet an individual or two who fire off romantic love chemicals and be unable to reference how to deal with such powerful urges. I think that’s why so many Christians have problems remaining faithful to their spouses. What’s your opinion?
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i gave the actually Christian view on this in the LINK above, which you already read last year.
NOTHING, including your whole life, is about YOU and YOUR hormones inherited from fallen father Adam. It is about the true and living God and HIS glory. You WILL give it to Him. You are already. He always wins.
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Here is what confuses me about Christians in general.
1) They are told to love everyone and not to judge because god is the only judge and they seem very judgmental and self righteous to me
2) They supposedly love a god who was so merciful he sent his only son to die for the sins of ALL but yet they think somehow people who lead decent lives but commit x sin or y sin will be banished to hell by this same loving god. They ignore they to are sinners because we all sin so why wouldn’t that same god who punishes for x or y not punish for a-w sin as well?
Just seems stupid to me.
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http://tiribulus.net/judge.html
As I say Madam. You know literally nothing about Christianity. NOTHING. I don’t care how many times you’ve read the bible.Satan quoted the bible to Jesus. You have ZEEROH knowledge of the gospel. ZEEROH knowledge of the history of the covenants or sin or redemption and ZEEROH knowledge of man himself.
If you have any interest in learning, I will take some time. Like the rest of the clueless crew around here, you embarrass yourself with your legion of strawmen. Do please be my guest if you want to attack Christianity, but you’ll do much better if you learn even the Sunday school basics of what it is.
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Hahaha My wife is Christian and I have attended church with her for many years. My mother is Christian, it was taught in my childhood home. I know more than you care to imagine I do.
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PS That included attending “sunday school” any more stupid assumptions for me?
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Read your link and you remain true to an imperfect work of man known as the bible. There are more than 2 dozen translations and they vary widely and why? Man put his hands in the word you claim is holy and true.
That is the entire problem with Christians in general and not all but ones like you. You want to prove to a non Christian that you are right using a book made by man that I don;t believe in anyway.
And Katness said: “Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
They strung up a man
They say who murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.”
And thus there was light!
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I have not made a stupid assumption about you yet Michelle. You continue to demonstrate that with every keystroke. Your god is YOU. Dime a dozen self exalting idolatry. Different face same person I’ve talked to thousands of times. VERY rarely does God retrieve one who has been under His truth (which is not the same as knowing it) and rejected it as thoroughly as you have.
If you are one of His you WILL come to Him. Like I say. He always gets His way.
In the meantime, your angry, frothing, rebellious unbelief does NOT impress me. You are not even close to the hardest heart I’ve seen. You’re just gonna have to take my word for that.
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Another deadly assumption. My god is my heavenly father I just don;t expect everyone to follow him nor pretend I have a moral high ground like you do. My faith dates back 10,000 years and yours less than 2,000.
As for coming to “him” I did many years ago, yet another assumption. You’ve been wrong so far though so keep going you’re on a roll. I’ve never seen one man be so wrong so often. I want to see how many more assumptions you can make.
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Ok let’s list them.
1) I knew nothing of the bible
2) I know nothing of Christians
3) I never been to church and didn’t know any Christians
4) I never been to Christian education
I could go on but 4 is enough. Even faced with this you will say “I assumed nothing” And yet you have and were wrong. But I forget you are perfect, sinless and infallible.
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“There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you–who are you to judge your neighbor?” James 4:12
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;” Luke 6:37
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” mathew 14:1- I don’t recall how far 20 something I think
“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. …” Romans 14:1-20something, maybe 30..
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Mathew 7:1
This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God. …” Corintians 4:1-???
And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7
I can go on shall I? Your bible is FULL of do not judge and I mean FULL. So are you without sin? If so feel free to tell your god what a sinner I am. Otherwise get the tree out of your eye before pointing to my splinter..
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“And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7”
I realize, Michelle, that your point is that T is claiming to be Christian, while judging – a rather un-Christian attitude – but that “Jesus and the adulteress” story has a special history, which, if you’re not already familiar with it, might interest you.
The story didn’t appear in any of the Gospels until the 4th century (500’s) AD. At first, it was attributed to Luke, and injected into his gospel. There were those, however, who felt it sounded more like something Matthew would write, so they removed it from Luke and placed it in Matthew.
No one had a clue if it actually happened, but in their minds, it sounded like something that MIGHT have happened, and it made a good point, so what the hell?
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Sweet I was merely showing him that in spite of his long and heartfelt post he was wrong the bible does tell you no to judge. 🙂
I will go get that as part of my history and the bible lesson. Thanks I learned something new… 🙂
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Sorry, Michelle – I said Matthew, when I meant John – this seems to be Let’s-get-names-wrong Day for me.
This should make up for it:
http://www.bibleodyssey.org/passages/main-articles/woman-caught-in-adultery.aspx
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Sweet was having trouble finding matthew and luke. So off for more reading. 🙂
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I see, Tiribulus, that you’ve decided to make Vi’s blog post your billboard, plastering URL’s to your website all over it – Vi’s rules are Vi’s rules, but if it were I, your comments might remain, but your unpaid advertising would be gone.
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if you expect a straight forward answer, you will have to wait a bit longer. I am not waiting
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He continues to quote a bible that means nothing to me it is much a word of fiction as katness I quoted from Mocking Jay.
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i don’t know if this your first time meeting him? you are better of ignoring him. He is the only right christian, all the others got it all wrong
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I like fucking with piss ants like that. Sooner or later he will see I honestly don’t give a rats ass about him or his false god Jesus Christ. Until then or until you say stop messing up my message board please I am going to let him spew his hate and everyone will see him for what he is. A self righteous, pompous, egotistical moron.
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Most of us know him as you accurately describe him. And I am enjoying this. Makes for interesting afternoon reading
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It’s funny he has been wrong with every assumption and portends he hasn’t. Is he really that stupid or just that uneducated? Can he be taught at all? I mean anything?
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no, not even which is his left hand.
I think he is both.
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Mak – judging by your new avatar, you’ve been working out —
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a lot, I tell you
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What happened to the cute little koala?
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Died of a heart attack. I will get a mature koala before the end of night
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You’re making me disorientated…
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that’s the end of it. Now we have a koala. How are you and the young one doing?
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I’m typing with one thumb and the blood has left my other hand. Nap time can be heavy!
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I wouldn’t know how to do that. Wish you all well.
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Everyone says the want unconditional love and romance.
But if you were to tell your lover you’ll seriously never get jealous, then I think they’d rightly feel unappreciated.
Romance, or trying to separate different layers of love and lust is kind of a rabbit hole. Romance as normally meant regarding fiction is an adolescent notion, and people who chase it make adolescent decisions.
Yet, people want to grow and not be stupid. So they get stuck in a salty pickle.
I don’t recall stating “people who don’t wait till they are married to have sex would lose the respect of someone they love” I more stated that love for many people doesn’t contain self respect. And maybe having certain people’s respect isn’t really a high bar to aim for.
I don’t think Christians do any worse or better than other members of any given society in most regards, primarily because they buy into romantic notions of “unconditional” love and they behave like everyone else by and large. So if you act like the crowd and get the same results, trying something different is not wrong.
Even if the love is on the condition that the beloved is the beloved, that is a condition. People’s notions simply make no sense.
On biology, one must remember that there is a set and successful strategy for human reproduction. Those that don’t use it lower survival chances of passing on their DNA well. And, just like all nature, biology doesn’t wait for the dead ends to die… it speeds it along with predation. The weaker antelope is actively hunted.
Those that break our traditional strategy are also hunted, by these things that make you itchy and infertile.
Shots of penicillin changed this, but even then folks outside the normative reproductive/sexual cycle have moved to regain the monogamous relationship style to ward of predation in an almost natural and matter of fact way. And the hunters effect some strategy by becoming resistant.
There’s even economic punishments for philanders or those that marry poorly.
So the fact Christians already practically do what you advise, there are predation issues, the fact even homosexuals realize that marriage is a good idea, and that all our systems seem to favor it should give some credence to the notion that maybe people should re-evaluate our cultural norms based on pills and rubbers.
The emotional aspects of human beings can’t have evolved enough to match the new paradigm in the 2 or 3 generations it’s existed.
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I’ve never wanted unconditional love and romance, have you? Seems a bit childish, we’ve surely moved beyond that in adult relationships. It’s more about a shared experience with someone, life makes more sense if this can be long term with someone whose company we enjoy. Sex is part of that but not everything by a long shot. I’m not sure I get the relevance of the rest of your comment. The rules of Christian or Jewish traditional relationships had some merit in another age before birth control was available . Regardless, the property aspect is vile.
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Reblogged this on christianagnostic and commented:
Brief, but excellent thoughts on the topic of marriage…
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Thanks for the reblog. I’m glad this perspective resonates with others with experience.
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So one should fall in love with a girl, desire to marry her, but first take her for a test drive, and if she is bad in bed, dump her as being unworthy of love. Got it.
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Well before anyone “test drives” me I need to know he is worth letting him even have that chance, Compatibility is a big part of long term success in a relationship. There are many things that come before sex. I’ve even lived with a guy (without sex) before and discovered he was too much of a slob for me and I am not some neat freak. So yes many things come in before marriage and before sex I would already know if you were even remotely compatible. A guy with that attitude wouldn’t make it to first base frankly nor am I his slave. Partners not master and slave.
But nice way to try and wist her words with 37 little words.
PS If you truly “fell in love with the girl” then “dumping her” would hurt you more than you pretend to let on. Nice try though.
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All symptoms. None of this is the point of anything. Success is measured by obedience to God. Not your happiness. True fulfillment and joy in GIVING yourself fully to Jesus first and then a spouse in service to both on every level is what marriage, sex and family is about.
Everything you’ve said is ALL about YOU. Just like Violet. This is what sin IS.
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Because it IS about me. God (my god) doesn’t intend for me to be miserable which seems to be the state of most Christian marriages so they feel the need like communism to make everyone else just as miserable.
I am comforter able with my god and answering for my own sin nor do I care if you deem me sinful. There in lies your problem. You believe you can define sin and claim moral superiority. Christians are far from moral. Most are do as I say but don’t look at what I do. The same Christian pastor who threw my wife and I out of church because we are gay was caught fucking little boys. Wow what a moral man he was I am so glad I didn’t measure up to that.
preach it to someone who cares. /yawn
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About time.
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Did I really say that? Or is that the ‘alternative to marriage’ lie peddled by desperately useless heterosexual men who feel their only hope of sustaining a relationship with a woman is by controlling her? Didn’t see you as part of that crowd dp.
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No biblically informed Christian man wants to control a woman. The march of the supercilious straw men continues.
http://tiribulus.net/wordpress/?p=203
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Did you read the last post and the link to the post on cows?
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Ha! I’m as controlling and manipulative as a kitten.
I don’t know how you intended to come across, but this is how I read you: test drive! It isn’t true love until you discover she’s good in the sack.
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I’m truly sorry that’s all you can see, but to be honest it says more about your mindset than anything I’ve written. There’s no such thing as true love. There are relationships that are great, good, okay and awful. It’s silly to commit to children before you know if your partner is nice to live with, before you know if your feelings if love are a long or short burner. Common sense really. And the test drive is generally more useful for women, as men are generally more easy pleased. But I note your 1950s attitude to sex and women from your sad little comment. 😀
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“No such thing as true love” and I’m the sad one?
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Another Disney fan. Is that a key Christian characteristic that helps make delusion so palatable?
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Love: a virtue by which a person consciously desires the best for another.
A marriage in which each partner chooses the best for the other is “true love” as opposed to false / incomplete versions of love such as infatuation or lust.
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Spam tin again, you obviously have a bad rep! 😉
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Just ask Ark!
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Deserved, I’m sure.
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And now he’s trying to give lust a bad name —
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Simply pointing out that it is not love.
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Who said lust was love?
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Nobody, I was distinguishing love from lust and infatuation.
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I might do a post on love. People are so confused by those darn chemicals.
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You can buy a necklace with the chemical compound made from metal. It’s nice!
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Do you have one?
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No, but I’m keen to have an oxytocin tat
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And before you ask, which you will, I know…
http://www.madewithmolecules.com/
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and this one
http://www.ilovesciencestore.com/thc-molecule-necklace.html
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I’ve just remembered I never got back to your question about Rio, and I’m sure you were dying to hear my thoughts. It was really interesting and beautiful. There have been so many documentaries on Rio on the run up to the World Cup that a lot of it looked and felt familiar. One of the other stranded passengers went out for a walk and the first thing she saw was someone on a bicycle ripping a necklace from a tourist. The dramatic change going under the tunnel beneath Jesus from third world to first world buildings was bizarre. Food – you are so lucky!
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I just had watermelon for desert! It was delicious, and crunchy. Crunchy watermelon is evidence there is a god.
Rio is a contrast. SP is like that too, except it has none of Rio’s vistas, and charm it still has from the 50’s is buried in shadow. Shame, because it was once a beautiful city, from what you see of it.
How was Argentina? Did you see your pup?
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Still here, it’s interesting being back but don’t see us ever returning long term. Plus our doggy scarcely recognised us!
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