survey: just how randy are heterosexual men?
Recently, there has been a disturbing flurry of Christian posts focusing on the difficulties faced by men who are unable to control themselves when women wear certain cuts of clothing. I find it difficult to express how much my mind boggles reading these posts, but must confess that I realise there is a serious problem here that needs to be resolved.
The opinion currently falls into two main camps.
- Women should be considerate to randy men and wear as many large, loose and shapeless clothes as possible so that hot-blooded males don’t have cause to sexually fantatise about touching their bodies or even grab hold of unconsenting ladies.
- Men should grow up and stop obsessing about women’s clothes and bodies.
There are problems with both these approaches. Some women enjoy wearing a wide variety of fashion fabrics of varying lengths and tightness, and may not comply with the modest dress requirements of the randy men. Moreover, some heterosexual men are just totally unable to control their randy thoughts and actions when provided a glimpse of temping female flesh or curves.
Therefore, I believe it’s necessary to table two obvious strategies that, as far as I know, have yet to be given their due consideration.
- All heterosexual men should be chemically castrated until they are called upon to breed. This way, their minds and bodies won’t be forced to undergo such painful temptation. Because as any hot-blooded Afghan will tell you, even when covered head to toe in a huge black tent, some women have a certain way of swaying their luscious hips or suggestively moving their sensual fingertips, that can lead even the most upright heterosexual man to experience disgustingly sinful and lust-riddled thoughts. Therefore, let’s cut to chase and cut the evil chemicals.
- All heterosexual men should be conditioned from birth to experience pain when they have horny thoughts. This can be done by showing them pictures of women in bikinis and giving them electric shocks if they seem to be enjoying it.
I’m pleased I can usefully contribute to this debate, and I’m more than sure the god God will be delighted with my suggestions and find a way to insert this into his holy book, the Bible, in order to help his faithful male flock keep their filthy minds on purer pursuits. … And here we have it! Blink, and the god God inserts this in his Bible:
And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Chemical or physical castration is it! Enjoy, my Christian brothers!!
Having women learn to use short-swords, carrying them openly, would be an alternative.
But as for that cut your hand off thing, er, have you heard of “metaphors”?
I can’t believe I missed the short-swords option – it’s so obvious!
The metaphor may be *your* interpretation, but I think it makes much more sense literally. These men are clearly experiencing a sinful problem and they need to remove the cause so they don’t go to hell – and the problem is their chemicals. Let’s get chopping!
Scared little boys who never grew up. Nothing more, nothing less.
I agree. But it’s interesting that their problem is always approached by first examining female clothing, and not by helping them get rid of the offending thoughts in a much more practical manner.
Bah, but that would mean THEY are the problem. Can’t have that, miss. Always has to be something else…. in this case, titties are evil 🙂
”…. in this case, titties are evil :)”
I agree, and believe we should go down to the beach and watch women’s beach volleyball as punishment.
You really would make a great Christian.
I have this feeling you’d seriously appreciate Brazil, Ark.
It has its good points….;)
“All heterosexual men should be conditioned from birth to experience pain when they have horny thoughts.” That wouldn’t work; we’d fetishize it. Fingernails can feel so good.
Who said anything about fingernails? I’m not sure if it’s possible to fetishise electric shocks.
I find people, generally, to be good to look at. Once in a while when am not too busy, I can sit on the seats along pedestrian paths just to watch people and they come in all dresses and shapes. Those men complaining need help.
Totally. The problem is clearly that they’re told certain types of natural thought and action are sinful, it messes them up. Once they start forcing themselves to not think lustful thoughts, everything about a woman becomes arousing. The problem with these men is, they forget that they are the problem.
It is a problem of listening to pastors for extended periods of time
I pity such religious men. They have never been told critical thinking skills and alltough they are hormonally adults, they have never grown to be adults in an intellectual sense, for that would require someone would have told them how ethics work. Instead they are on a level of small kids, in that they think right and wrong are determined by some authority and not by logic.
It is really not so much their fault, alltough the process of becoming adult demands you find about these things on your own, unless you are fortunate enough, that someone teaches them to you. They are the victims of patronizing religious culture.
It is kinda sad, that they are unable to enjoy their fantasies, and that, if anything, is perverse. Trying to totally deny ones libido, will eventually lead to it running ones entire life. Are not the pedophile priest a very good example of this? (By the way that problem is not only confined in the Catholic church. Here in Finland at least we have had a number of such priests within the more extreme sects of the protestant church.)
Typically, these religious men are also childlike in their selfishnes, that they are willing to spoil it all for the rest of us, to order others to change, when they are unable to change themselves, because of their own discomfort for not being able to live up to the unrealistic expectations of their imaginary mind police (and their mommy).
The entire idea of “sin” in their own thougts is unnatural, like the entire idea of supernatural is actually unnatural. Right and wrong are determined by actions and inaction, not by thoughts. But if one is unable to recognize this obvious distinction, then as the mind is a very hard thing to controll, the limit between actions allready taken within the boundaries of the mind and reality may be crossed inadvertantly.
The best way to remedy this, is to educate people about ethics.
Well, as usual I agree with most of what you said. But I’m not convinced that educating people about ethics is the best remedy. Educating people about the effects of thought suppression and about their natural biological impulses as breeding animals would be a start. And if that doesn’t work, I really think chemical castration should be given further consideration. 🙂 Seriously though, it does make me furious that these men are so ignorant and selfish that their first thought to deal with their self-made ‘problem’ is to blame women’s clothes. Unbelievable, idiotic, sexist, ignorant idiots. To put it mildly.
Yes, you are absolutely right. Better ethics rest on better information (in this case about biology and psychology), because whith better information people are able to have better judgement. This is why we today have better ethics, than in the long gone days when all those holy books were written. As those books clearly do not reflect any higher intelligence giving better ethics based on any better information, but the age old struggle mankind has had whith these issues, and the amount of information the men who wrote the books had in their posession through their cultural heritage in those days.
Better judgement also requires the skill and willingness to look at the mirror from time to time, and to ask oneself, if the blame could be in oneself and not allways the others.