breaking news: more bible translation errors discovered

Meat, substance, power, authority, these are all masculine things, and indeed, the very same things one struggles so hard to find within the church. As Podles so aptly said, to reject the masculine is to render The Church Impotent. (Insanitybytes)

As I exclusively revealed some time back in my first translation errors post, all English versions of the Bible have been mistranslated. This accounts for some Christians around the world getting conflicting advice from the Bible and from private discussions with the god God in their own heads.

Insanitybytes, above, is one such Christian who is smart enough to ignore the bits of the Bible that don’t conform to her personal sense of what is right and best. But thanks to this ongoing work correcting old versions of the Bible, we can finally understand from a biblical point of view what she means in the above comment.

Let’s look at the original beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3-10):

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Now, let’s look at the corrected version:

Blessed are those with authority, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the powerful, for they will inherit the earth
Blessed are the men, for they are more likely to have the masculine traits that God craves
Blessed are churches of meat and substance, for they will be filled
Blessed are the wall builders who turn their backs on the needy in case a terrorist slips through the net, for they will be called the children of God
Blessed are those who are persecuted (unless they come from another country or don’t conform to gender stereotypes), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

Now we can understand now why the Christian god God would hate to have a church that was feminised! I mean, yuck. In terms of shallow stereotypical gender descriptions, what exactly would that mean? Nurturing, caring, humble, welcoming, inclusive, merciful, loving. Sort of like that horrible mistranslation in the first erroneous Service on the Mount.