woe to those who make unjust laws
In response to the recent bill that’s been passed in Arizona, which will allow Christians to discriminate against same sex couples and refuse them service, I thought it might be nice to draw up a list of all the Christians for whom I am unable to fashion my delicious wedding cakes, because they are disgusting sinners in the eyes of their own god, God, and therefore the only logical response is to shun their custom.
- Anyone who is divorced and whose first (and only real) spouse is still alive can go get their cake from the heretic wedding cake shop across the road.
- Anyone who has lost their virginity and isn’t marrying the person they lost their virginity to (their only real spouse) needs to haul ass out my sanctimonious face and get their shameful sinner cake from the heretic wedding cake shop across the road.
- Anyone who is rich and can’t thread a camel through the eye of a needle is on shaky ground and therefore I will send them packing to the heretic wedding cake shop across the road.
- Any man who has ever looked at a woman other than his future wife lustfully has clearly already committed the sexual crime of adultery before even attempting to get married. I shall not offend my rights to be offended by their disgusting behaviour, which is clearly condemned in the Bible, by providing one of my tasty sin-free cakes for their Satan-fuelled marriage, and I shall kick their adulterous arse out of my holy presence to the heretic wedding cake shop across the road.
- Any same sex couples who want a wedding cake will be served one of my deliciously beautiful top tart treats, as I’ve searched the Bible and it is stated nowhere that committed same sex relationships are sinful.
If you want to read some other opinions on this topic:
- Here is someone who is shocked and saddened by the bill.
- Here is someone who thinks people should be allowed to follow their conscience.
- Here is someone who thinks it impossible to treat homosexuals like they are normal.
“haul ass out my sanctimonious face” – hysterical. The whole thing’s funny – and with such an appropriate picture!
LikeLike
Glad you enjoyed it! The picture is definitely the icing on the cake.
LikeLike
The homosexual practice is not normal and the Bible does speak against committed homosexual relationships.
You ignore many verses of the Bible to come to your opinion and it would be wise of you to study the whole topic thoroughly instead of cherry picking the verses you like and omitting the ones you do not like.
There is more to the issue than just serving cake and people should not be forced to participate in activities against their will. Would you like to be forced to serve those people you have banned from receiving your services?
LikeLike
Cheery picking? Leviticus 20:13 mentions gays. Turn back a page to Leviticus 19:28 and all people with tattoos should be detested. Page forward and we have all the ways you can murder someone, including children, for disobedience.
So, my question is: why look at one verse, and not the others? Isn’t that the very definition of cherry picking? I believe Violet made the point perfectly well.
LikeLike
Are you a Catholic or a Protestant, and what’s your BMI?
LikeLike
I’d be interested to know where there’s mention of same sex marriage or even committed same sex relationships. Can you give details of passages?
LikeLike
It baffles the mind, doesn’t it; an advanced nation being so very retarded. Has it not dawned on them that they’re fast becoming the laughing stock of the world? Does this not bother them?
LikeLike
Did you see the video of the interview with the politician behind the bill? Posted below. Hilarious! Without even having to resort to the sarcastic mockery of my level, the interviewer clearly pointed out what a waste of time and how completely illogical it is. By the way, as you’re a bit out of touch with English speaking society (ahem) I feel I should point out that ‘retard’ is no longer used by anyone who’s not an idiot (‘idiot’ is still okay to use as is ‘silly person’ 🙂 )
http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2013/03/06/autism/5-things-people-dont-get-about-the-word-retard/
LikeLike
I heard this morning Jan Brewer has vetoed the bill. Seems it might have been even too batshit-crazy even for her, a Creationist.
LikeLike
Oh seriously! These people just get funnier and funnier. And I’ve always fancied living in Arizona … nice deserts, sunny days. Bet they’ve got good hummingbirds.
LikeLike
Here you go. Had to look it up myself
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/26/jan-brewer-vetoes_n_4854003.html
LikeLike
Oh bollocks to that. Retarded works perfectly well here. Retard = regressive.
LikeLike
Not anymore, move with the times Zande! Language doesn’t stay still, unless your a Linguistic Creationist? No evolution, you say?
LikeLike
Open to suggestions…
LikeLike
This made me laugh out loud! Thanks for that. 😀
LikeLike
I’m so pleased! Last week I was only getting snorts, so I’m upping my game.
LikeLike
Have you seen the video of the politician who proposed the bill having the logic of the bill torn right apart in a TV interview? Mind boggling! He still stands up for it after being shown that it has no humane usefulness whatsoever!
LikeLike
That is excellent! Comedy gold, thanks for posting it
LikeLike
Good news that the governor just announced she won’t sign the bill. Still sad that there are actually so many people who wanted this law passed.
LikeLike
It’s kind of good news, but like you say doesn’t detract from the fact that so many people supported it and it got so far. The whole thing is insanely moronic. Did you the CNN interview with guy who’s behind the bill? It’s posted above in the comments if you didn’t. Stupid doesn’t begin to cover it, and obviously the governor had to veto it because the short-sighted prejudice behind it couldn’t even see what a can of worms it would open … or that they’re already free to discriminate as much as they like.
LikeLike
Oh great hypocrites, why is it impossible to be both a bigot and consistent?
LikeLike
Great question, maybe one of them will pop in to explain it to you.
LikeLike
I don’t think so, those people are great in seeing splinters in the eyes others, while ignoring the beams in their own eyes.
LikeLike
Or even just imagining splinters …
LikeLike
I was delighted to hear on the World Service it had been vetoed.
It would have protected “PRACTICE OR OBSERVANCE OF RELIGION, INCLUDING THE ability to act or refusal to act in a manner substantially motivated by a religious belief, whether or not the exercise is compulsory or central to a larger system of religious belief.” It was crying out for Pastafarians to go to Arizona and start doing silly things: is the right to drive at high speed a Pastafarian belief? It would not need to be orthodox Pastafarianism.
LikeLike
For example: Pastafarians venerate pirates. Now, you are a rubbish pirate if you go slowly: your prey just gets away. Hence the need to go everywhere very quickly.
LikeLike
Now that would have been funny! Almost wish the governor hadn’t vetoed it! Also, one of the religious nutters would have banned divorcees and single parents from their business, which would have been great too (purely for entertainment, not thinking about real people).
LikeLike
This is both hilarious and well done.
I saw the flower 😛
LikeLike
Yes, a beautiful act of natural love-making seemed appropriate 🙂
LikeLike
Bonking ladybirds, simply amazing how some folk can get so worked up about Willies and Fanny’s.
What do they do with their free time!
Boggles the mind.
Somehow I can never imagine my kid asking any of her clients…”Before I take your order…”
No. Just cannot get my head around such an image.
LikeLike
And that’s why your daughter owns the heretical cake shop across the road 😉
LikeLike